My system to deal with the dirty dishes

My system is to empty the dishwasher first thing in the morning, that’s it. That way, anyone producing dirty dishes during the day can put them away directly where they belong: in the dishwasher! It used to be me emptying the dishwasher, now it’s my teenage son, it’s his one responsibility of the day.

The dishwasher gets filled throughout the day and is run after dinner is tidied up and all rooms have been scanned for additional glasses and mugs scattered throughout the house or backpacks!

If not all dishes fit in the dishwasher, I select a few dishes that are the least soiled to wash by hand, and leave it to the dishwasher to deal with the dirtiest items.

If something comes out of the dishwasher still dirty, I scrub it by hand immediately.

If we need to run two dishwashers a day (typically at the weekend), I run it after lunch and empty it before starting food preparation so I can fill it as I prep.

The goal is to deal with all dirty dishes of the day, the same day. And start fresh again the following day. Never make today slightly easier by making tomorrow very difficult. It’s only a few minutes after all but we don’t want to add these to prepping and cooking dinner after work, emptying two dishwashers in one evening and filling the sink and countertop with a mess that prevents us from using the space.

Where the system fails is that people in my family often eat something later at night when the dishwasher is running. I offered three options: clean by hand, start the dishwasher later, or don’t eat late. None of these options worked. Although effortless, the option of starting the dishwasher late not only did not take but made our life very difficult the day after.

A lot of the late eating would occur after I am in bed or even after I am asleep, and the clutter in the sink in the morning only bothers me, no one else in my family. So, at this point, I have three options: let it go (accept there will be a couple of dirty dishes in the sink in the morning), check and chase the family late at night, or get up and start the dishwasher myself.

Constantly policing the family is extremely draining. It’s mentally hard to constantly interact with your loved ones on a negative basis. It’s a terrible role to have, and not an option for me. Now I have to choose between getting up to start the dishwasher or letting it go. I choose to let go, that’s my optimal option. Especially since we also end up with glasses, including my own, used for drinking water at night. These dirty dishes get in the dishwasher first thing in the morning after it gets unloaded.

It’s never going to be perfect, it’s not a great feeling, but optimalism is accepting the ways of the people in my family that diverge from my own. Optimalism is accepting some imperfections in my system.